Two unusual approaches to creating a rich feedback culture; generosity and curiosity
Lead more effectively by creating a good feedback culture that is imbued with two essential qualities; generosity and curiosity.
‘Feedback is the information force that creates the shape of the system.’
Jennifer Garvey Berger ‘Changing on the Job’
Feedback seems to be one of those perennial topics for leadership and organisational culture to work on. That’s because, like grass, it’s important in creating a functional and high-performing team.
We suggest bringing two qualities into your feedback conversations; generosity and curiosity. Here’s why they work:
The generative capacity of being generous
Ideally we want a feedback rich culture in which people regularly give and receive quality feedback. This is not always easy. If we’re stuck with old habits of using feedback to tell people how we think they should improve, or only focusing on the ‘constructive’ / bad feedback - then we’ll always find this dimension of work challenging.
Arriving at a feedback conversation with a sense of generosity can help make these conversations work more effectively. Brenne Brown speaks of generosity as one of her 7 things to do that help build trust. Practically what this looks like is coming to a feedback conversation with as much generosity for the other person as you can muster.
You might think they’ve done something wrong, or made a simple mistake, or you’d like to see them improve in a straightforward and practical way. But all of these perspectives lack generosity.
Instead try arriving at the conversation knowing that this person has done their best. ‘Assume the best’ is the simple refrain you can have in mind, or noted on a post-it.
Part of this generous mindset is to see the other person as the ‘hero / heroine’ in their story. In order to understand their story you need curiosity.
The insightful nature of curiosity
Many feedback models focus on the structure of the conversation. For example, the ‘When (the thing happened)... I felt… (express feelings)... because… (give more information). From my experience in the training room this kind of carefully constructed conversation format is rarely followed and often ineffective. It feels forced and unnatural.
Instead, what I share with teams is the approach of ‘popping the topic on the table’ and then bringing as much generosity (see above) and curiosity as you are able to.
Practically, once you’ve brought up the topic for discussion, you might like to start with asking ‘What do you think?’ or ‘What’s your take on this?’ Listen carefully, not to fix, but to learn. Ask further questions with genuine curiosity to uncover what’s happened and how the situation arose. Try to ask questions that disrupt or disprove the perspective that you have on the situation.
It’s a useful practice to withhold solution focused thinking for as long as possible. This helps with ‘listening to learn’ and enables you both to approach the topic with open minds from where better solutions are likely to arise.
When you’re really curious it can help to see the other person as the ‘hero / heroine’ in their story. This means seeing the other person as having done their best; from within their story of how to work and what to do, they’ve been the hero.
You might also like to see them as an important holder of information that would help you understand what’s happened. This is true; you don’t know their perspective, and they see things differently to you. Try to understand their perspective before launching towards any solutions.
Conclusion
When you practise generosity and curiosity well there’ll often arrive a moment of truth or clarity in which the core element of the issue becomes apparent to you both. From that realisation often what needs to happen is simple. And you can end the conversation with both taking responsibility for forward momentum and appropriate actions.
Here’s the strategy for you once again:
Pop the topic for conversation on the tale for discussion
Bring generosity and assume the best
Ask questions to understand their perspective
Hold your solutions lightly
I’m curious to know if this has been helpful in enabling a more fruitful feedback culture within your organisation. Let me know in the comments.